What to expect when working with a coach
When I tell people I’m a coach, they usually have some follow-up questions.
So, you help people find jobs? (no)
Oh, you just give them advice? (no)
Okay, then what is coaching actually like? (read this blog post)
To understand what it’s like to work with a coach like me, maybe it’s best to start with what it isn’t like. Coaching is different from therapy, since I won’t be delving into the root causes of your personal challenges. That said, we may develop a deep level of trust, and you will probably increase your self-understanding.
Coaching is also different from mentorship. A mentor’s job includes making introductions and connections for you, giving you advice, and sharing the wisdom of something who is farther along a similar career path to yours. I’ve coached IT professionals who could be better mentors to me than I could be to them! What I bring to our coaching relationship is a particular set of skills and techniques designed to unlock their insights (not mine).
My job in a coaching session is threefold.
Create the conditions, together, for insight to occur. This means putting a person at ease, removing distractions, and fostering a trusting relationship. About 15 minutes into a coaching session, you will drop into a calm, alert state with a learning mindset.
Listen intently, then ask questions and make clarifying statements that stimulate your best thinking. I craft these to help you see (and feel) the truth of a situation, reflect, and ideate.
Help you capitalize on the insight and the motivation that comes with it by committing to an action. I will nudge you to make a realistic plan, which might even include rehearsing a difficult situation in a safe space.
Overall, I follow and have been trained in the International Coaching Federation core competencies. You can read more about them on the ICF website.
I’m there to encourage you and celebrate your success, but I’m not just a cheerleader. I also have a responsibility to challenge you when I sense you are not being honest with yourself or not using your full capabilities.
My coaching sessions are usually about 55 minutes, with 5-10 minutes at the beginning to settle and check in, 35-40 minutes for dialogue about a dilemma the coachee presents, and 5-10 minutes at the end for reflection. I typically start with a series of six monthly sessions.
The specific outcomes are different for each coachee. Some people have an overarching leadership goal they are working on and want to measure progress toward that goal. Others seek insights about whatever is present for them on that day. All gain clarity and a sense of agency in their own leadership journey, and I believe this has a ripple effect on their organizations and communities.
Does that give you a better idea of what it’s like to work with a coach? What additional questions do you have?
